Delivery_Queen’s Weblog

Credo For Relationships

Posted on: February 26, 2009

A Credo For My Relationships With Others
Dr. Thomas Gordon

You and I are in a relationship, which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with unique needs and the right to meet those needs.

When you are having problems meeting your needs I will listen with genuine acceptance so as to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of depending on mine. I also will respect your right to choose your own beliefs and develop your own values, different though they may be from mine.

However, when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can change my behavior.

At those times when one of us cannot change to meet the other’s needs, let us acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other’s losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine – neither will lose, both will win.

In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.

 

I thought about this credo the other day when I read an old email from a former coworker. In it she said that she thought about me when she came across my neon clipboard at work. She said she put my name on it and used it. I would always tape interesting articles,pictures, and prayers on it. I have a feeling that she found the one that was stripped of it’s unique identity. That happened plenty of times. The credo was one of the articles I had placed on it. I felt that whoever used the clipboard would be inspired by it. There were many times on the labor and delivery unit where relationships with coworkers were strained. Somehow everyone got through the difficult times. I loved working the midnight shift for the friendships that I had established. It wasn’t a permanent thing and I knew that the day I left my job. For the 17 years that I worked there, nurse came and left. Many of the ones that left were always thought of but contact was loss. Now I am one of those lost……but I am not forgotten. I still run into doctors and old coworkers. We all have separate lives now. Relationships come. Relationships go. Friends come. Friends go. All you need is one good friend. This past year I have discovered I have over 3,800 cyber friends and I am blessed. Thank you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: